“Why You’re Not Married”–an article from Huffington Post

23 Jul

I find no fault with the author’s assessment.  Her six reasons for a woman’s prolonged singleness:

  • Being too angry and bitter
  • Focusing on a man’s quirks and not on his character
  • Being too free with your body
  • Being dishonest about the level of commitment you expect from the men you date
  • Being overly focused on one’s own self.
  • Believing that you are not good enough just as you are.

So it’s true then?  I’m pretty average in my struggles after all.    While I have no stuggle with casual sex, and little current struggle with focusing on irrelevant traits in a man (like how many languages he speaks), or with being dishonest about my desire for a serious relationship and marriage, I find that I am still fighting a a championship match against anger/bitterness, selfishness/self-centeredness, and believing that today, right-this-very-minute, I am enough and worthy of a good man’s love.

What a helpful piece.


12 Responses to ““Why You’re Not Married”–an article from Huffington Post”

  1. Grace Ata August 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

    There is definately some truth in this. Check out the following blog for a different look at the Single topic; http://www.mysweetperfiction.blogspot.com

  2. tojusteatfood April 24, 2013 at 9:36 am #

    StillSingle, please write more! I discovered your blog not long ago and have loved reading your thoughts. Come back!

  3. SingleChicagoGirl December 19, 2013 at 5:27 pm #

    I would say that #1 and the last reason applies to me. I AM bitter and angry about men, for a reason. I’ve been treated like shit and like I’m some on call prostitute. I am intelligent, the girl next door, I work, never married, healthy lifestyle (no drugs)…a lot of qualities. I attract men with careers but their character is something left to be desired. I am single for years at a time because of the men I get approached by (sickos and sociopaths who hate women). Fortunately for me, I don’t give of my body freely. But that’s another reason why I stay single…lol. I started blogging about my experiences for therapeutic reasons lol. http://singlegirlinchicago.wordpress.com/

    • SingleChicagoGirl December 19, 2013 at 5:29 pm #

      I’m in my 30s, by the way.

      • psychoontyres January 7, 2014 at 10:07 pm #

        “If you look for perfection,” her dad says, “you’re in trouble.”

        Yeah Right ! But not half as much as when your with the wrong person for the want of some offspring who is never going to know proper love from both parent’s at the same time.

        You only get one chance to mess up a kids life and it never ceases to amaze me how many parents do so by panic settling for any old partner who is invariably the wrong partner.

  4. Elle February 4, 2014 at 4:41 am #

    Hi StillSingle, nice blog I may say. I would like to offer another perspective based on personal analyses, observation and experience. I no longer believe anything I read from mainstream newspapers and here is why :

    – Being too angry and bitter : I know angry and bitter women who got married
    – Focusing on a man’s quirks and not on his character : I know such women who got married
    – Being too free with your body : I know “wh*res” who got the ring
    – Being dishonest about the level of commitment you expect from the men you date : I know dishonest, manipulative women, who trapped men into marriage
    – Being overly focused on one’s own self : I know extra self-centered women who got married
    – Believing that you are not good enough just as you are : most people in relationships and marriages have a negative self-image simply because most people period have this issue

    There are people who have combinations of several issues who got married. I came to the conclusion that sometimes there are those unlucky singles who must fight harder in that area of their lives because the enemy attacks them more there than he does other people. I see everyday married witches with good men and terrible husbands with good girls. So the worst people manage to get married. Very few couples are two quality people actually.

    I would like to also add that nowhere in the bible does God claim that we must have it all together before marriage. Marriage will do the job of perfecting us, with God at the center of the relationship.

    Those articles always act like if women dont find suitable men thats because something has to be wrong with them. How about we change our perspective? How about there are less and less husband material men as the years go by, less and less men interested in a committed relationship before God simply because the culture has changed and marriage is less valued? Ironically 80% of my friends who get married are NOT christian, so how about the obvious shortage of christian men?

    Sometimes its not the devil, its not us, its the numbers. Not saying that women dont have their share of responsibility in the evolution of marriage but I suspected that men could also play a role in this. My eyes were opened when I went to live in a non-western country for a year. In a year, two men talked to me about marriage and building a family. They talked about marriage with pride, not as something that women had to desperately chase and trick a man into. They wanted to build a family after the official commitment. I couldnt stay so I went back home. But my point is that, that never happened to me in my own country. Because in North America and West Europe marriage is not as precious and borderline mandatory to show your level of maturity and contribution to society as it is in the rest of the world. If I wanted a man today I could get one NOW. It’s easy to have a guy, date, shack up and so on. But thats not in my plans.

    I am now at a phase where I reject everything I read in the press and magazines and those popular relationship books because I have blamed myself for years and worked in those areas and even evolved, yet nothing changed and I had no problem being seen as wife material in that other country where marriage is valued. I found that women who have worse issues than I do get the ring easily. So, many men who claim to want a positive bubbly honest nice woman choose wenches. Thats the trend of the culture!!! “Too free with their body”? Really? How do you explain playettes who get married 6 times in a lifetime? I dont accept any of these excuses anymore.There is over 75% of chance of me marrying and foreign man and staying living abroad. All of a sudden there, my “innocence” (Im quoting a man here) was praised. My “issues” were not an issue, as all of us humans have issues.

    God revealed to me that where the numbers dont match I will just not find what I want. Thats like looking for plenty of water in the desert. Another revelation from the Lord, He is sending me abroad this year in that same country, since that is my request, and Im seeing Him in action.

    Love you.

    God bless you all ladies.

    • Anonymous June 23, 2014 at 9:39 am #

      Thank you for what you said. I have ben feeling like the worst woman in the world. My little cousins are getting married and Im still single. I have thouhgt plenty about moving overseas and starting a new life but I will miss my family whom I have been away ftrom for over 15 year because I have been focused on my career in a state where I have no family. However, I want to start my own family. When will it happen Lord?

  5. anita May 11, 2014 at 10:09 pm #

    At last my happiness has been restored through Dr WASIU of traditionalblackspell (@) gmail.com , my mount is full of testimonies but here is a little i can say out of the whole wondrous things Dr WASIU has done for me i was in a great and the sweetest relationship with my man WAYNE for three years and we were both in love and even planning of getting married November 2014 so when he traveled for on the a business trip to Australia he melt a lady there whom he dated for two months and when he returned back to home he began to behave strange and with not long he said he is tired of this relationship looking for ways to break our love life and he finally push me out and bring in the Australia lady with him .this time i was frustrated and devastated about my love life so i vow not to rest until i am able to get back the only man i have ever loved so i began to look for a solution to restore my love life . one day my friend Jessica Sanchez came to me telling me about this man DR WASIU saying this man has helped her restore her marriage life, so i said let me also try as i have no other choice in getting back Wayne. at first when i contacted him i thought nothing will work but it was like a dream and surprise when he told me he will help me out by bringing back my wayne to me. Dr WASIU of traditionalblackspell (@) gmail.com has done this for me so i want you all to join me to say thank you to this man, and if any one here is also passing through a similar problem i will advice you to contact him today and i know your problems will be solve

  6. Joe June 5, 2014 at 3:33 am #

    Hey guys great article. And if your looking for a good website to date and chat with other Christians check this out. Online Fellowships

  7. TheRealAnswer December 16, 2014 at 4:41 pm #

    God really sucks for this one, and who the hell would want to be Alone And Single when life sucks as it is?

    • ManyOfUsGoodMenAreSingleBecauseOfThis December 28, 2017 at 11:26 am #

      Well first of all it is the kind of women that we have nowadays that are really too blame since it really does take two too tango today. Women have certainly changed today making it very difficult for many of us very good men that are very seriously looking for a relationship now since there is no reason in this world to ever blame ourselves to begin with. Most women now are so very high maintenance, greedy, selfish, spoiled, picky, narcissists, and very money hungry more than ever which really explains it as well. And it is these type of very pathetic loser women nowadays that have really destroyed the dating scene for many of us men unfortunately that should’ve been married already with our own family that many of us still don’t have today. And for many women that have their careers today which they’re the worst ones of all since they really believe that they’re all that which they really aren’t at all to begin with. And it is these women that really don’t have any respect for many of us single men too since they have the worst personality that i have ever seen as well. God forbid for many of us men trying to start a normal conversation with a woman that we really would like to meet as really become so very extremely dangerous for us now more than ever. And most of the time unfortunately they will be very nasty by mouthing off to us for no reason at all either which makes these women real psycho’s in the first place to act that way with us men. And there are many of us very good innocent men that can treat a good woman with a lot of love and respect if only they would give us men a chance. It is very obvious to me why so many of us men are still single today because of the way that most women are acting these days. And with all of these very stupid reality TV shows as well as social media which is certainly adding to the problem as well. It is just too very bad that the real good old fashioned ladies are all gone since most of them made love very easy to find back then since they were the very complete opposite of what these very pathetic low life loser women are today.


  1. The Right Time to Have Sex – Should You Hold Off? | My Sex Seeker Blog - September 17, 2011

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