StillSingle is Still Necessary

12 Jul

I thought I was done.  Done trying to hurry love, done trying rush the work the Lord is doing in my heart, done pushing, prodding, questioning, and urging singles away from hopelessness and discouragement.  Done blogging.

But then I went on a Missions trip to Uganda, and I couldn’t seem to stop talking to pretty much everyone about love and marriage.  I had some interesting and insightful conversations with people.  On the trip the thought occurred to me that StillSingle is still really interested in why and how love happens.

It’s been three Sundays since I have returned, having been expanded in all kinds of ways that I could not have foreseen.  I have experienced an inexplicable dimension shift which makes me want to be more of the woman who God made me to be.  I feel myself wanting to take hold of that for which Christ has taken hold of me.  I want to reach for it fearlessly.  I have found myself speaking about the Lord in the secular realm, when previously I would be silent.  I have found myself inviting people to church, when that’s really not something that I do.  I have found myself wanting to continue my pre-trip consecration of no tv, no movies, no fiction, no distractions, when just before leaving on the trip I relished the idea of finally being done with the consecration so I could go to see Bridesmaids.  “Hmmm…,” I think to myself as I notice these occurrences.

This past Sunday at church, in each of our three services babies were dedicated.  During the last service (a service I rarely ever attend  because I sing in the choir for the first two services and am not inclined to stay for a third), the guest artist who was ministering interrupted her singing to prophesy to the congregation something along the lines of, “Someone here is not happy about the baby dedications earlier.  Someone here was looking at those families, and those babies, and saying in her heart, “What about me?  I’ve been waiting and trying and hoping for so long!  Where’s my baby, God?”  Well, know that your time is coming.  It’s not over for you! It’s not over! You are going have your baby.  You’re going to email me next year and tell me that you were the one in this church that I was talking to, and you are going to email me a picture of your new baby!  Turn to your neighbor and say, “It’s not over!””  I dutifully turned to my neighbor and, lo and behold, she was holding back tears.

Now, before the service began this same teary-eyed lady took the seat next to me and began a steady chatter in my direction despite the obvious fact that I was trying to read a book.  I said in my heart, “Lord, why did you put this woman here next to me? I just want to be quiet and read. What is the purpose of her sitting here, Lord?”  But her chatter inspired no response of significance from me.  When I saw her tears, though, instantly I knew.  “You want me to pray for her, Lord!”  Well, at the end of the service , without revealing her need, she allowed me to pray for her. I prayed with all of my heart and she began to weep in earnest as I prayed.  Afterwards she decided to open up and to tell me how her heart longs for a child.  How, before the service began she had been talking to someone over coffee and wondering aloud why others had babies to dedicate and she had none.  She told me with tears that she just did not understand why she had not found a suitable mate so that she, too, could move into motherhood.  She was already over forty, she told me.

Of all the seats, in all the pews, in all the services being held in all the churches in New York, the Lord chose that seat, pew, service and church to connect me and Janice.  He wanted to encourage her, I think.  And He wanted to encourage me, too.  “It’s not over, StillSingle!  There are single souls that need an encouraging word.  Your words.  Your prayers.”

I’ll do my best, Lord.


10 Responses to “StillSingle is Still Necessary”

  1. Danae August 8, 2011 at 5:31 am #

    I would just like to say thank you very much for this post! It has reminded me that the smallest things happen in the Lord’s favor, as well as the big. No matter what stage of life we are in- it is for a purpose. There is a reason we all have experienced what we have and yet to find the one He has made for us while others have children. Sadly, many people I know who have lovely children are not in a happy marriage or married at all. So I am thankful to not be in that situation but it is still difficult for me NOT to think “What about me, Lord? Where’s my prince on his white horse?” but this helps remind me that there’s a reason for everything and as long as I seek after the Lord and follow through with his good deeds, my time will come… And yours will, too! Thank you!

  2. Troi June 20, 2012 at 12:32 am #

    After reading the article, I wanted to cry. I fear that I won’t be able to find anyone aswell, TL settle down and have a family. I am 21 now, and I know I’m still young, but I haven’t bren on a date since my senior prom! I’ve only had one boyfriend during high school, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. All thr guys who have shown interest were only after one thing and I’ve been obedient to save myself for my husband. J dont understand why haven’t been asked out yet. Know-a-days it seems like no guy wants to date a decent young lady, or a “Virgin”, for that matter. Sometimes, all I really pray for is just a simple date. Someone to talk to, hold my hand and take me on dates.

    • LLM August 14, 2015 at 3:27 am #

      21 give me a break. Are you serious? Really come on. get a grip. Try being over 50 and being alone 22 years with nobody and then maybe you might have a reason to complain.

  3. Seriously Speaking September 21, 2013 at 3:29 pm #

    well what about many of us good men out there trying to find love today, but can’t seem to meet a good woman to share our life with?

  4. Chewsday October 28, 2013 at 4:25 pm #

    I reckon if you go easy on the religious angle (at least until AFTER you’re married) your odds will improve significantly.

  5. Anonymous June 3, 2014 at 3:23 am #

    I know that there is a God and a Heaven. Strange but I know. Why I was shown I don’t understand why. It’s hard enough living alone knowing that something could end your loneliness but doesn’t. Knowledge is not power. But not the power of love.

  6. warwall August 25, 2014 at 5:02 pm #

    Chewsday there is a staggering difference between being a Christian and being religious, I hope someday you understand that. This was an exceptional post ma’am, thank you so much for sharing it. For yourself, and others still waiting [men(like me) and women both] perhaps it just takes all this extra time for the LORD to train up your significant other into who they should be. I know it doesn’t make the waiting much easier, but the victory will be worth it.

  7. DeeDee October 3, 2014 at 10:30 pm #

    For me I have relinquished the right to even have a spouse now..For so long I watched those around me in the faith even my closest of friends find love whilst I (I am MALE) did not, nobody even looked in my direction so it seems. Though the thoughts of having a companion are still a desire I understand that I cannot make any ladies of God love me if they simply..don’t, hence I relinquish the right to have one and pray that one day someone who loves Jesus will think I am worth loving and that I will be able to pour my love over them too. God bless

  8. MW September 21, 2015 at 9:49 am #

    Really sucks to be single and alone today, Doesn’t it? Especially for us good men.

  9. Anonymous February 3, 2018 at 5:53 am #

    Well unfortunately many of us good men nowadays that are still single can easily blame the single women today for that one since they’re so very picky nowadays and will always want the very best of all and will never settle for less. Most women as it is do prefer men that have a lot of money which makes these type of women very greedy, selfish, spoiled, and very money hungry which certainly has a lot to do with it as well. So for many of us men out there that are very seriously looking for love which will certainly explain it since the women of today are nothing at all like the real good old fashioned ladies were back then that made love very easy to find at that time. It is just too very bad that the real ladies that existed at one time are all gone and taken by now unfortunately.

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