February Week 2 Dating Update

16 Feb

Image via Google Images

I did it!  The eharmony match that I liked the most, Ron, was wrong for me, I realized last week.  So, with great regret but with certainty, I told him au revoir.  I was nice, and so was he, and then he closed the match.  I feel like I passed an important test!  So long Mr. Wrongs of the world!  The other two matches from last week do not seem to be progressing into anything.  Warren, who seemed possible, has stopped emailing altogether.  Newt, the 7th Day Adventist, is playing phone tag with me.  Despite seven days of calling everyday and leaving charming messages and texts, we have not been able to catch each other on the phone.  Seriously.  Could be a sign.  In any case, Round Three of eharmony matches has begun.

On another note, my 13 y.o. niece and I had an interesting exchange. 
Her:  “Auntie, somebody at church told me that in the Bible it says that women are not supposed to look for a husband, but the man is supposed to look for a wife, or something like that.”
Me:  “You’re talking about the scripture that says, “He that finds a wife findeth a good thing…”
Her:  “Yeah, that’s it!  So I don’t think you should be going online looking for a husband.  You should just trust God and wait.” 
Me:   “I know.  I know.”

Which leads me, once again, to wonder if trusting God and online dating are incompatible.  I don’t think so. 

Do I?

Finally, last night I prayed an unusual prayer.  I often complain to God about being single, or mention in passing to God how much I want to be married, or wonder of the Lord if marriage is ever going to happen.  Also, I pray with a girlfriend every week and a part of our prayer time always involves each of us asking God to lead  the other of us into marriage.  What I do not generally do is use my regular prayer time to pray about marriage.  In my regular prayer time I pray about work, or ministry, or my weight, or I pray for others.   Last night, though, I had the thought that I never actually pray about getting married and that maybe I should.  I found myself praying along the lines of “Lord, I want to be married.  But I don’t just want to be married, I want to be a wife.  Lord,  give me the heart of a servant.  Help me to be supportive and loyal.  Change me so that my attitude is yielding and unselfish.”  And so on.  I don’t even know what I prayed.  All I know is that it was definitely different.  Not, “Lord, let me have…,” but “Lord, let me be…”

Wow.  Shifts and changes are happening on the inside it seems.

What about you?  Is this journey through singleness taking you anywhere new?

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11 Responses to “February Week 2 Dating Update”

  1. Jerome February 17, 2011 at 1:59 am #

    I understand the feeling. I may not that old (25).

    Waiting for gets frustrating. When you’re youn ger sister is already married. It makes it difficult.

    It makes it more difficult when your friends start having girlfriends.

    But I need to just be patient sometimes that easier siad then done.

    • Anonymous April 18, 2014 at 6:10 pm #

      I belief god honors faithfulness

  2. Kristin February 18, 2011 at 12:28 am #

    I’ve thought about that, too. It’s an odd thing, balancing the waiting with the being ready and open when the time is right. If you’ve felt the Lord’s leading to be on eharmony, then I think you’re fine. It’s that obedience to the Holy Spirit’s leading that we just have to listen to… everything else falls into place. 🙂 I love what you shared about the way your prayers have changed. It’s always a wondrous thing when we notice the changes He’s making within us, isn’t it? 🙂

    For me, I feel like this year is supposed to be a season of waiting on the Lord and His timing, of falling in love with Him, and of serving while I’m still single. That’s not to say I’m not desiring to find this guy, but since I’ve started to really, truly pray about it on a more consistent level, I’ve been at peace. I’ve felt such joy and contentment, even while helping my best friend plan her wedding and gearing up to work another wedding season (I’m a photographer). I just celebrated my 21st birthday about a week or so ago, and by that day I just had the feeling that this year belongs to God. I’m sure it will be a year of adventure, change and trials, but I expect it will come with great blessings, too. I’m excited. 🙂

    • Anonymous April 18, 2014 at 6:14 pm #

      Stay joyful and hopeful.

  3. Shelley May 14, 2011 at 2:11 am #

    I’ve given up on God granting me this prayer. I have been praying it since I was 16 and my heart was so hurt that I married the first man who asked me. That man turned out to be wrong for me and bisexual. He left me broke and two kids–one with special needs. He can’t even pay me the very minimal child support.

    I jumped right into another relationship and 5 years later he says he wants to marry me but he hasn’t because it is always a promise. Over the years I’ve been ruined by him and so much disappointment has removed any desire to even be asked.

    So, now at 40, I have given my youth to men because I was desperate. With two young boys, the pool of acceptable men dwindles even more. My father often tells me I can’t pick men and he’s right.

    God’s blessing for me in this life was never to be love. And, I hate this test, but I have a short cry now and again and just remember God doesn’t give me a choice for what his purpose is for me in life.

    It just would have been nice to be the one you see across the room that is planning their wedding and the man is so in love with his bride.

    And, this my friend is why he also made wine!

    • Anonymous April 18, 2014 at 6:14 pm #

      GOD is faithful

      • rc June 10, 2014 at 12:55 am #

        Not really

  4. thisblogisepic November 18, 2011 at 9:46 pm #

    Hi. I just started blogging about my own journey through online dating… some of it is seeming pretty ridiculous. I actually just posted an entry yesterday about my take on God in online dating, after a friend of mine sent me an article she found. I encourage you to read it, although since this post is several months old you’ve likely already found the answer you were looking for.

    Anyway!

    http://thisblogisepic.wordpress.com/2011/11/17/a-link-i-found-interesting-since-i-have-no-actual-man-related-news-to-post/

    Check it out, check my blog out, feel free to recommend it to your readers if you like it. I’m looking for followers at the moment, because a few friends of mine suggested, after I was sending it to them privately, that my thoughts may be able to benefit someone I’ve never met if I’d only make them public… so here’s hoping they’re right!

  5. Serious Jim August 20, 2013 at 11:37 pm #

    well there are many of us good men out there too trying to find a good woman to settle down with, and it is very hard for the good men and the good women to really connect with one another now.

  6. SingleChicagoGirl December 19, 2013 at 5:57 pm #

    I start out with, “Lord, I want…….” too. Pastor Mark Jobe (in Chicago) said that God is not a genie (lol). So I stopped with the “God, gimme…..this or that”, a long time ago. I’ve done the online dating thing since Dec 2009. It’s honestly where I’ve met the most ‘jerks’ (lol). I’ve done it through a paid subscription on Match.com. I think online dating (especially for Christians) is a good way to meet single guys. How else are we going to meet these guys and set up dates? I sure don’t hang out in bars and clubs…never did. I think as long as a woman’s judgment is on point, then she’ll be alright. I’ve been through enough jerks to know when to let the first date be the last. Right now, I’m definitely taking a break from dating and working on my physical health (losing weight). It’s Dec 2013 now, I feel that I’ll be ready inside and out by Mar 2014 (LOL). Anyway, hope all continues to go great for you =)

  7. Mike September 20, 2015 at 8:21 pm #

    With so many women today that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, is a very good reason why many of us good men are still single today.

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