This Week’s Dating Update

10 Feb

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As I may have mentioned, I am on the verge of moving to the telephone phase of conversation with my next cohort of eharmony matches.  I have been on the verge of the progression for about a week (which is a whole other blogworthy subject).  There are three potential suitors. 

 Newt I have actually spoken to very briefly on the phone.  He called while he was in transit and couldn’t talk.  His stock was devalued in my eyes when I found out that he was a 7th Day Adventist.  My mind doesn’t want to accommodate this difference.  Not when there are (at least) two other perfectly good matches in the queue. Newt is my third favorite of the three. Warren is my second favorite.  He seems to be mature in the things of God, churchgoing, intelligent, happily employed, divorced, a father, and the list goes on. I like him. I’m slightly suspicious, though, of him regularly saying he will pray about this or that for me, and his use of church-speak.  Me thinkest he doth confess his faith too much.  Though it might just be my skeptical nature that is the problem.  Ron is my number one draft pick.  His profile, comments, and conversation are unnervingly compatible with my own profile, comments, and conversation.  I really, really like him.  And this is a big problem.

When I read Ron’s last email, the scales were removed from my eyes and it became clear to me that Ron is a xerox copy of Mr. X from eharmony two years ago, and of WB from forever ago.   And I was faced with the fact that something inside me is drawn to the same kind of Mr. Wrong over and over again!  Ron is intelligent, attractive, witty, well-traveled, multi-lingual–and he is a Christian who doesn’t go to church, has never been close to committing to anyone, including a child, though he is well past age 35, and who lives alone and spends most of his time alone.  He might as well post a flashing banner that says, “I do not give of myself to others.”   And that is not even the real problem.

The real problem is that a part of me is resisting reality.  A part of me wants to hope and believe that maybe Ron will find a church and maybe everything will work out in that regard and maybe he and I could live happily ever after. “He speaks French, StillSingle!”, that part of me says.  This part of me wants to continue to get to know him better, to get closer to him, despite the odds against my having any kind of future with him.  Yet, wonder of wonders, the very same part of me is skeptical about nice Mr. available, church-going, “I’ll join you in praying about that”, Warren.  This part of me has very little interest in hoping and believing that maybe Warren and I could live happily ever after.

Oh, boy.  StillSingle still has a ways to go it seems.  But, oh, boy!  I caught on to this stinky old pattern!  StillSingle is making progress!

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3 Responses to “This Week’s Dating Update”

  1. Kristi February 12, 2011 at 12:31 am #

    I think it’s great that you’re being honest with yourself that you’re maybe attracted to the wrong type.

    I’m always wary of the Christian that isn’t involved in any faith-community (whether it be church or a small group, or any kind of accountability setting).

    Recently I finished a 15-month stint on eH–the phone stage was always the most uncomfortable to me. I’d much prefer just to meet them in person!

  2. The Truth May 11, 2017 at 4:18 pm #

    Well it is just too very bad that God didn’t make good women like the past when they were very old fashioned back then since many of us good men would’ve been married already with our own good wife and family too.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. February Week 2 Dating Update « Lord, Why Am I Still Single? - February 16, 2011

    […] did it!  The eharmony match that I liked the most, Ron, was wrong for me, I realized last week.  So, with great regret but with certainty, I told him au revoir.  I was nice, and so was […]

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