What Is It About Bridal Showers?

20 Jan
The marriage (detail of bride and ladies)

“The Marriage (detail of bride and ladies),” by Nicolo da Bologna, circa 1350s. Image via Wikipedia

A friend of mine, who is soon to wed in the Dominican Republic, had her bridal shower a couple of weeks ago.  According to the Evite (it was an impromptu shower since the bride was in town on a short visit), there were to be less than ten guests.  I knew pretty much everyone who would be attending.  Most were senior ministry leaders and not my contemporaries.  Only one woman was expected who is a part of my social circle.  This woman and I are friends, but not close friends.  I was glad that she would be there with me, though, like sort of a ‘single and waiting’ comrade. 

On the day of the shower, when all the guests were gathered, we began to chat and my ‘single-and waiting’ counterpart dropped the bombshell that she was engaged to be married.  The date was set.  The hall was booked.  The wedding gown was purchased.  We were all a bit joyously shocked.  How had this news of her engagement not leaked out?  More pressing for me, though, was the realization that, with this exchange of information, I suddenly became the only single in a room full of happily-coupled Christian women.  Uh-oh.

Sure enough, the conversation, and all eyes, soon turned to me and to what kinds of exciting things were happening in my life (which, of course, is the polite way that one inquires about another person’s love life).  Since I did not have an engagement to talk about, or anything remotely close to an engagement, I talked about hoping to soon buy a house.  This topic, unexpectedly and effectively, got the ladies off the topic of my love life for a good long while.  Except that the woman sitting next to me felt to share with me the memory of how, when she was my age, she too looked to buy a house on her own, a townhouse in fact.  But in the midst of her house-hunting she met her husband, and ended up getting married.  “So you never know,” she concluded.  I dummied up.  My response to her was, “So what happened with the townhouse?”

Later, the hostess asked all the guests to share relationship-words-of-wisdom with the bride.  We went around in a circle.  The others talked about their marriages.  I talked about my sister.

When the gifts were opened, there was sexy lingerie.  The most senior ministry leader in the room encouraged the bride with words along the lines of, “In your relationship with your husband you are going to discover what it really means to be a woman; what your body was designed for.”  I wondered at the implications of this statement. Is a single like me unaware of her womanhood?

Towards the end of the shower we were asked to share a prayer request.  It was to be something strongly desired or greatly needed, and too hard for anyone but God to work out.  Again we went around in a circle.  When it was my turn I sensed the other ladies holding their collective breath in hope that I would ask for prayer about marriage.  I could feel my own breath catch at the mere thought of mentioning my hope for marriage in such a setting as that one.  My prayer request was for a career change.

It was, without question, the most uncomfortable bridal shower that I have ever attended.  Mostly because I felt like I was in hiding.  For the first time in a very, very long time, at that bridal shower, among those married Christian ladies, I felt ashamed that I was still single.

To be continued.

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9 Responses to “What Is It About Bridal Showers?”

  1. kktoday January 21, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

    Oh, this made my heart a little sad. Please accept this virtual hug from me. *hug* I’d have hated to be in that atmosphere. I’m sure they meant well, but good grief! Anyway, I hope and pray that you don’t still feel ashamed. You’re exactly where the Lord wants you to be in terms of singleness. Don’t be ashamed of that. 🙂

    • StillSingle January 22, 2011 at 12:24 am #

      kktoday, that is soo sweeeet! Thanks for the hug! 🙂 🙂

  2. Nicky January 29, 2011 at 7:21 am #

    Hiya, I have just found your amazing blog. I am convinced that when the time is right you will find this awesome guy who will ask you to wed him. I found my husband in very strange circumstances! Romans come to my mind! 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
    May the Lord bless you in abundance. Hug x

  3. The Real Answer October 27, 2013 at 3:44 pm #

    Well i do have to say that God must be very much punishing many of us that can’t find love today, and i really certainly do Blame him after seeing so many Very Blessed Men And Woman that have met one another and have a Family just like many of us would had wanted as well. Why should many of us have to be Alone?, and it is Much Worse when the Holidays come around.

  4. bassey November 22, 2013 at 7:18 am #

    am bassey single i love to meet a good woman and pls God let me see a good love thank you… lord

  5. Tainia Lami March 26, 2014 at 7:41 pm #

    I want to share a personal testimony of how i was helped by Prophet Dibia to get my marriage back. My husband changed and left me after all we had done together. i told the prophet and he helped me get my husband back, now i am the happiest woman in the world. You can also share your problems with the Prophet, i can assure you that he can solve whatever problems you might be facing. Here is his email: spirituallove@hotmail. com

  6. lori ann June 7, 2014 at 11:42 am #

    I certainly know how it feels to be a Christian single female, waiting for several years for a prophecy about marriage to come to pass (given 22 years ago by prophetic ministers), but still doesn’t. He is allowing several friends and acquaintances to find mates, but not me. I feel so ashamed of being single this long. The internet dating sites have not worked for me either! How long does it have to take to be found my your Godly match? Maybe God is putting me thru a test, or something!

  7. Ben January 6, 2015 at 3:17 pm #

    It seems that God punished many of us with Singleness.

  8. And this Is Why Many Of Us Good Men Are Still Single Today. May 10, 2017 at 7:06 am #

    Well unfortunately it is the kind of women that we now have out there today why many of us good innocent men are still single now since there is really no reason to really blame God. God really has no control over a woman’s behavior problems since they’re very wild these days more then ever. After all, it really does take two too tango today.

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