I’m Baaaack

19 Jul

Nothing happened with RN.

But something did happen with me. 

The Lord asked me to surrender my desire for marriage.

I said, “I can’t, Lord.  I can’t.  I want to be married.  I really, really, want it.” 

But gradually, by the grace of God, I gave it Him.  He helped me to trust Him with this thing that was dearest to my heart.  And I let it go.

And then it was gone.

The overwhelming desire for marriage, that had been on my mind morning, noon, and night for years, was gone.  And with it a tremendous weight was lifted from my shoulders.  My weary and heavy laden self was given rest and an unprecedented lightness of being.  One more paradox of God, I think.  One more example of a death that brings life.

So I am happily no longer Still Single.  I have no adventures or anxieties to write about.  I no longer see myself in the context of my marital status.  Do I want to be married?  Yes. Absolutely.  I’d also like to be rich.  And thin.  Yes I would.  And maybe I will be.  I hope God helps me to get there on all fronts.  But if I am never married, and never rich, and never thin, that’s fine too.  I am fine.

I thought of ending this blog, therefore.  But something has stirred me, and so I think I’ll keep writing as the need arises. 

Here goes…


One Response to “I’m Baaaack”

  1. shesstillsingle March 12, 2011 at 12:26 am #

    And since you did (keep blogging) I was unable to use the blog address I had been planning to use for months! SO I am shesstillsingle 🙂 Just had to come check out who had taken what I had thought for awhile to be my cleverly chosen blag name, and say hi!

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