What Will The New Year Bring?

7 Jan
Endless love
Image by millzero via Flickr

First, I was going to do a 2008 Year in Review-type post, but at this point it’s feeling stale, so I’ll recap here briefly:

In January I note that WB, for the first time in our history, did not send a gift, or even a card, to me for Christmas/New Years.  In March I practice getting over WB by letting myself love him without expectation.  In April I have a major breakthrough with the father-love issue.  In May I join eharmony.  In June I read a book that shined a great light on my fear of commitment.  Another major breakthrough followed.  In July I was totally infatuated with Mr. X.  In August Mr. X dumped me and my heart was broken.  In September WB stunned me by announcing his impending wedding.  And when I  panicked over not having a date, wonderful Chris waltzed into my life.  In November, after the wedding, I stopped seeing Chris, mourned the loss of WB, and had the thought that Mr. X seemed selfish, inconsiderate, and cowardly in hindsight (read: compared to Chris).  Why, I wondered, did I let myself become infatuated with that kind of man?  In December, when I wondered if I’d ever meet a new person without going online, I met someone at church.  More importantly, most importantly, I resolve that pure honesty, and truth in the inner parts, is how I have to live going forward.

Looking back, I’m convinced that there is a plan and a process that I am living through (deal with baggage, be open to meeting men, let the past go, confront poor choices in men and glimpse the kind of love God has in store), and that I am well on my way towards finally, finally, being Not Single Anymore instead of Still Single.

Second, I wanted to tell you what happened with Chris that caused us to part.  It was sex. We had a falling out over the issue. You can imagine why. I wrote a long post that explores my state of mind in the weeks following our break up.  Stay tuned for the details.  As of this date, though, Chris and I are talking again.

Finally, before it happens, I want to go on record and say that I am on the verge of a major, life altering, paradigm shift.  I just know it.  Here’s where I’m coming from:  all last year I was in process; getting my heart and mind in fit shape to recognize and receive love, real love, when it comes along.  Now here I am at the beginning of a new year and a new decade waiting for the next thing relationship-wise.  On the 4th, completely coincidentally, I stumbled upon the news that the sequel to the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which I ADORED, is being released on the 5th.  I was not really sure what kind of book the sequel is, but I love E. Gilbert’s writing so I ordered the book it on the spot.  The book arrived today, the 6th, one day after it was released.  It is the fastest book delivery that I have ever received, particularly as I did not request expedited shipping. The finding, ordering, and receipt of the book was so seamless and fast, that it feels almost like Someone Else wanted this book to come to me right now.  But why?  What is this book about?  It is about Marriage.  How E. Gilbert overcame her reluctance to commit and committed.  Married her man.  Indeed, the title is Committed.  This book is going to speak to me, and Light is going to flood my mind and heart.  And I am going to be that much closer to a committed relationship myself.  Just you wait and see.

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